Thursday, October 7, 2010

Invitation, please?

Helloooo, Thursday! Boy, where does the time go? Here it is, nearly another weekend, when I haven't yet had the time to brief you all about the great one I just had. And since my prenatal adventures are quickly drawing to a close, I suppose I had better be a little more attentive to this blog thing. How about I just go ahead and blame Mom. I don't know exactly how she impeded my creative process this week, but I'm sure it's her fault somehow that you and I have been estranged for the last five days.

Anyhow, we've got a lot of time to catch up on! I mentioned that I made a little trip to Illinois this weekend to visit my soon-to-be family. Well, it turns out, that there was a greater purpose behind the little excursion into farm country. Apparently, everyone had planned a baby shower--for me! I know, it doesn't sound like anything special. That's what I thought at first, too. (Especially considering that Mom has an affinity for scalding hot water that I will be glad to be rid of on the outside world.) I mean, Mom takes a shower a couple times a week, at least. But it wasn't a hot-water shower after all--it was a party! Well, you can imagine how excited I was to hear that a party was being thrown in my honor, and how much more ecstatic I was at the prospect of attending--you know, in person; dry and breathing oxygen and stuff. For, certainly I would be allowed entry into the world for such a special event, a party thrown to celebrate my life and all. There would be gifts to open and new and interesting foods to sample and my name spelled out in confetti and, best of all, I'd be free to enjoy it!

Well, you know what they say about ASSuming things.

It turns out there was yummy food, gifts to open (with cards addressed to me, if I heard Mom's muffled voice correctly), and my name spelled out in confetti (a lucky guess, I suppose). And where was I? Banished to the womb. How silly of me to suppose that I might get a break from this slimy little cage to attend my own party. Of course I was there, I guess. But it's awfully hard to enjoy any festivities when one is trapped beneath layers of skin and organs and amniotic fluid. And I'm told that this wasn't even the first time this has happened! Apparently, there was another shower held in my honor a couple of months ago, that I wasn't even informed about! I was still young then, I suppose, and was indifferent to the goings-on outside the womb. Still, it would have been nice to have been invited.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the parties were lovely. Mom tells me I got a lot of great stuff and she went on and on about how fabulous the decorations and everything were. Plus, she said people seem very excited to make my acquaintance. (Maybe the party planners should have thought of that when creating the events. You know, perhaps holding a get-together sometime, oh I don't know, after I'm born?) But mom tells me that's just the way these things work. And she seems very appreciative, anyway. It was fairly dampened, but I'm certain I heard her use the word "cute" an obscene amount of times. Both at and after the shower. So, thanks for making her happy, everyone...I guess. Maybe we can do it again in a month or two, so the guest of honor can get in on the action? I don't know, just a silly little idea I had.

Still, I can't complain about the weekend on the whole. It was nice to hear some voices besides Mom and Dad's for a while, and the chaos that family visits often are was a refreshing change of pace. Although, Mom tells me that I might change my mind once I'm actually privileged to attend said visits in person. We'll see about that.

Oh, and for those of you (like me) who're counting: 20 days until I make some headway into my new life as a little person. (So anytime after that for the party I mentioned will work for me, if someone wants to get started on the planning process...) And, I don't know, but I'm starting to get the impression that it's going to be a looong 20 days. I've been working so hard to wriggle downwards to get this show on the road, but Mom and I saw the doctor the other day, and he assures us that I haven't really made any progress. (How's that for a kick to the ego?) And, until I can somehow manage to pry the entrance to that little tunnel open--even a few centimeters--I'm trapped in here for good. So, needless to say, the next couple of weeks will be spent strategizing. If you've got any tips for me, do let me know. I mean, you all made this trip once, didn't you? Well, how the heck did you do it?? Actually, I'm a little disappointed that no one, so far, has cared enough to share any advice with me. What ever happened to empathy, people?

Well, I'll be anxiously awaiting your words of wisdom in the coming days. Who knows? Maybe together, we can bring an adorable new life into the world. (In less than 20 days, preferably.)

Thanks for your help,

Harper Jayne

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