Hello again.
Mom and I are pretty exhausted today--she, from an early wake-up call and me, from a long day scoping out escape routes from the world of amniotic fluid. After a great deal of effort, I have so far eliminated the possibility of clawing my way through this uterine wall with ten of the softest, sorriest excuses for fingernails anyone could be honored to sport. Nor is it possible, according to current data, to get through the wall by means of a reverse bear-crawl directly against the belly. As much as I thought she was tired of lugging me around, Mom is clearly not on my side in these endeavors. The moment I get a good push with my rear against her belly, she starts pushing against me, like I'm some hernia or knotted muscle that must be kneaded out, and I'm forced to resign for a moment. If I didn't know better, I'd think she didn't want me to get out at all. Anyway, needless to say, it has been a long day and I'll be keeping this post rather shorter than the last.
I merely wanted to remind those of you who may have already lost track of time, that shortcut or not, I am scheduled to make an appearance in the outside world in only 34 days. Although, if Mom makes me listen to one more Streisand film, it might be much sooner. Last week-Yentl. Today--Funny Girl, for at least the third time since my hearing developed. I mean, I like Babs as much as the next fetus, but it's like, c'mon, Mom. I have a whole world to experience. Maybe we can lay off the show tunes for awhile? (Or maybe I can put that much more effort into my escape through the uterine wall. The choice is yours.)
A special note to mom, while we're making suggestions:
I'd just like to point out that I love ice cream. Like, really love it. I know I can't actually taste it or anything, but I always know when you eat it, and I just love the buzz I get while you digest. But if you're going to eat it before bed, I'm going to keep you awake. If not directly, then I'll make sure that your acid-reflux will. That's really all there is to it. So, unless you're just in the mood for some quality bonding time and a sleepless night, don't do it. Again, just a suggestion.
And that, ladies and gents, concludes this evening's reflections. I'll be back tomorrow with more tales from the wombfront, but for now it's hasta la vista, Baby.
Cheers and stuff,
Harper Jayne
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
And So the Tiny Reflections Begin...
Hi folks,
Pleased to make your acquaintance. Well, sort of. I know we won't officially meet for another 5 weeks or so, but Mom has gotten severely behind in updating the world about my progress, so I've taken it upon myself to fill you in. It's the least I can do for her, after all, now that I've learned to write.
For those of you who don't already know me, or at least something about me, my name is Harper Jayne Poirier, and I come to you from beyond the womb. I'm roughly 35 weeks old in fetus years (which makes me something like -35 days in postnatal human years), which means I'm getting pretty big by now. Don't let that profile picture fool you--if, in fact, you were able to even ascertain that it was me pictured there. (We certainly will not hire that photographer again.) Anyway, that was months ago. I was just a child then. Now, I'm nearly full grown, and running out of womb!
Mom is always going on about how she can't wait to not be pregnant (which I have to admit does hurt my feelings a little bit. I mean, I'm sorry I'm making you uncomfortable, Mom, but did I ask to float around in this gooey nest for 40 weeks?) but no one is more anxious than me to get out of this incubation nightmare. (Ok, "nightmare" is a little strong, especially since I only just figured out the difference between day and night a couple weeks ago. But for those of us who--despite any assumptions to the contrary--are a little claustrophobically inclined, 9 long months curled up in a ball and eating through a tube is hardly my idea of a good time.)
Still, I've tried to make the best of the situation. I spend a majority of my time practicing skills and things that I know will come in handy on the outside world. I try to wait until Mom is resting so that she can feel how hard I'm working. It's hard for me to hear exactly what she's saying because everything is a little muffled in here, but she seems the most enthusiastic when I do my warm-up stretches. She must be proud that I've taken the initiative to prevent injury before I get on to the more exhausting exercises like kick-boxing and my cardio-circuit. Anyway, I like to hook one foot between her ribs for support and stretch my arms and spine as far as I can into her pelvis. It actually feels really good because I can rest my head on Mom's bladder like a pillow for extra support.
Speaking of pillows, I think Mom is about to do some walking around, which is my cue that it's nap time. So, I'm afraid I'll have to sign-off for today. But I know the occasion is rare that you're able to converse with we(e) members of the prenatal world, so please check out my profile to get an idea of my interests and hobbies and feel free to post any other questions you might have for me! Remember, my time in Uterine Land is limited, so don't be shy. Meanwhile, I'll keep you posted about the final leg of my gestational odyssey and all my hopes and fears as I approach the end (or, some would say, the beginning) of my journey!
Best wishes and all that,
Harper Jayne
Pleased to make your acquaintance. Well, sort of. I know we won't officially meet for another 5 weeks or so, but Mom has gotten severely behind in updating the world about my progress, so I've taken it upon myself to fill you in. It's the least I can do for her, after all, now that I've learned to write.
For those of you who don't already know me, or at least something about me, my name is Harper Jayne Poirier, and I come to you from beyond the womb. I'm roughly 35 weeks old in fetus years (which makes me something like -35 days in postnatal human years), which means I'm getting pretty big by now. Don't let that profile picture fool you--if, in fact, you were able to even ascertain that it was me pictured there. (We certainly will not hire that photographer again.) Anyway, that was months ago. I was just a child then. Now, I'm nearly full grown, and running out of womb!
Mom is always going on about how she can't wait to not be pregnant (which I have to admit does hurt my feelings a little bit. I mean, I'm sorry I'm making you uncomfortable, Mom, but did I ask to float around in this gooey nest for 40 weeks?) but no one is more anxious than me to get out of this incubation nightmare. (Ok, "nightmare" is a little strong, especially since I only just figured out the difference between day and night a couple weeks ago. But for those of us who--despite any assumptions to the contrary--are a little claustrophobically inclined, 9 long months curled up in a ball and eating through a tube is hardly my idea of a good time.)
Still, I've tried to make the best of the situation. I spend a majority of my time practicing skills and things that I know will come in handy on the outside world. I try to wait until Mom is resting so that she can feel how hard I'm working. It's hard for me to hear exactly what she's saying because everything is a little muffled in here, but she seems the most enthusiastic when I do my warm-up stretches. She must be proud that I've taken the initiative to prevent injury before I get on to the more exhausting exercises like kick-boxing and my cardio-circuit. Anyway, I like to hook one foot between her ribs for support and stretch my arms and spine as far as I can into her pelvis. It actually feels really good because I can rest my head on Mom's bladder like a pillow for extra support.
Speaking of pillows, I think Mom is about to do some walking around, which is my cue that it's nap time. So, I'm afraid I'll have to sign-off for today. But I know the occasion is rare that you're able to converse with we(e) members of the prenatal world, so please check out my profile to get an idea of my interests and hobbies and feel free to post any other questions you might have for me! Remember, my time in Uterine Land is limited, so don't be shy. Meanwhile, I'll keep you posted about the final leg of my gestational odyssey and all my hopes and fears as I approach the end (or, some would say, the beginning) of my journey!
Best wishes and all that,
Harper Jayne
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